I hate Thanksgiving. I always have.
It started as a kid, probably because I have been a vegetarian since age 5, but that’s a whole nutha story. My disdain for the holiday grew as a high school student when I read all about the terrible things that happened between the native people and the first European settlers in the US. In college, it marked the time when classes were about to end I would have to go home and wait around for late January for the fun to begin again. And as an adult and parent, it continued with the falsity that you take one day to be thankful with your family when it should happen everyday. I’ve joked that Thanksgiving is the big F holiday—food, football, farting and family fights—and I have even called it Skanksgiving, just to laugh off my blah feelings.
But since I started skating with my lady loves at Southern Maryland Roller Derby in January of 2013, I now have a whole new reason to hate Thanksgiving…the horrific time of year that we call “derby break”. You see, my league takes a break from practice from Thanksgiving to just after New Year’s, as many others do. The reasons range from a loss of practice space to other indoor winter sports to giving members time to spend with family or travel for the holiday season.
And I get it, I really do.
Having those extra two to four nights a week to clean, cook, decorate, shop, travel, chill, recover, reevaluate, hang with family or have too much “good cheer” is beneficial. And our league is very family oriented. Whether it’s back-to-school night, the first big cold of the year, a wedding, a period of mourning, regular old family drama or whatever, we always say “family first”. And I love my family and my in-laws, I get along with them better than most and I do enjoy spending time with them, but SMRD is my family too. I miss seeing them and social media posting is just not enough for me.
These are ladies (and some gentlemen) who offered to pay my skater fees when I lost my job earlier this year, and they let me hit them legally or curse incessantly when I’ve had a rough day. We obsess, nerd and fangirl over the same weirdo TV shows, movies, comics, books, music and mopey Britsh actors that my family doesn’t. Before, after and maybe even during practice is where we give each other the most verbal support and hugs when an injury, new piece of gear, certain skill or strategy is just not working. This is when us vets share the stories of “when I first started” or “what worked for me” to our lovely new ladies who are as starving for knowledge and experience as we once were. Practice is the place where you get the “ME TOO” answer when you say something you would get a weird stare for if you said it anywhere else. There you are reminded that you belong and that you wouldn’t know where you would be without them, your team, your tribe, your friends.
It’s all fine and good to be emotional and miss your friends. I’m a professional at that. Both of my best friends live in CA. The pain of derby break goes deeper than that for me, I physically miss it. My body gets angry. It revolts by eating cookies and nachos more than once a day and ice cream and drinking more than usual. It gets sad and sits on the couch, binge watching television and staring at the yoga mat and kettle bells across the room. It’s slow to act when someone proposes an open skate meet-up. It gets fat and loses muscle that it was so proud of just a month before. Derby gives me the physical release of any team sport workout, but you hit and get hit, you go fast and fall, you learn tricks and strategy, you learn your teammates strengths and weaknesses, you build muscle memory and you have the time of your life, twice a week.
Now you may say that I am just whining. I am and I admit that. You may also say that I should try to change my league’s policy on the break. I won’t because some people value the break, maybe they even need it. You might suggest that I join a gym or get some discipline to keep my body from “reacting”. I plan on doing stuff AND things to stay in shape. You could say that I should try to spend non-skating time with my friends so that I don’t feel this way. We will. Maybe you would tell me to join another league that continues to practice. Um, no BLASPHEMY…I bleed SMRD hot berry, black and silver and it’s quite beautiful and glittery as you would imagine. You could also say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. In my case, with derby, it makes the heart (and mind and body) go crazy.
My point is this, (in the most annoying teenager voice you can think of) IT’S JUST NOT THE SAME!!! I could go shopping with my favorite jammer, or open skate with my fellow blockers. I could host a committee meeting. I could stand in my living room and work out. I could do all kinds of things to pass the time but even though the spirit of the holidays and time with family fills up the space that derby practice takes up, there is still a little hole in my life, mind and heart where derby goes. So here’s to next year and a fast, but fun and family-filled derby break.
You can have your one day of thanks or even your 30 days of social media thanks if you like. I’ll appreciate my health, my muscles and my skating skills for 52 weeks straight. I’ll be grateful for the support of my family and non-derby friends all 12 months. And I’ll stay thankful for my team 365 days a year.
SMRDERER, SMRDERER, KILL, KILL, KILL…again, in 2015!!!
Rach
Originally Published in November 2013 at http://somdrollerderby.tumblr.com/post/103548951752/roller-derby-makes-me-hate-thanksgiving
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