Preface
I will preface this by saying that this is about my experience only. I’m sure there are other people who have had better and worse ones in this particular situation. I will be complaining. I will be placing blame. This will be a pity party. I don’t need to hear from you about the economy. I don’t need to hear from you about how lucky I am or how other people who are not so lucky in this way. I don’t want to hear your suggestions about finding Jesus to make myself happy, getting therapy, getting a prescription or something like that. If you don’t like letters to inanimate objects or abstract concepts, don’t read it. If you feel compelled to be a trouble-maker and call me too cynical or negative, don’t read it. If you are of the mindset that people should just accept their positions in life and not try to change it, don’t read it. If you think that once women become mothers, they should just take what they can get (a belief I used to have), then don’t read it. If you want to hear a from-MY-heart opinion based on my personal experience, then read it. If you can offer any advice BESIDES religion, stop complaining or know my role, then read it.
Dear College Degree,
I got beef with you. Basically, you’re useless. I am so tired of you an your supporters putting you up on a pedestal and making you seem more worthy than you are. I was told that if I obtained you, that it was a ridiculous assumption that I would not have a good job and that there was no way I would ever be struggling financially or so hopelessly unfulfilled. I’m not unemployed, I work part-time as an elementary school aftercare worker at the small Catholic Pre-K through 8th grade school that I went to as a child. I totally got the job because my mom and sister are teachers there and my kids godfather is the son of the principal.
I worked hard to get to you. There were so many times I just could have said, "F*ck it." and just graduated high school and tried to go from there. Once I got accepted into the program to obtain you, I worked equally hard to pay for you. I tirelessly wrote essay upon essay about influential books, important family members, my position on political hot-buttons and my future plans, all for you. After doing all of this, I ended up with 90% of my tuition paid for through scholarships and work study so as not to burden my family or take out any loans, burdening my own future. After all that business was taken care of, I had to decide which brand of you I would earn. I decided to forgo the obvious (at the time) do-nothing degrees of Philosophy, History, English or Art and I went for something I was sure I’d enjoy and that I could always get a job in, Communications. I took classes in writing for media, public relations, public speaking, communications law, television and radio production, film, the future of technology in the media and even did kind of my own unofficial minor in photography. I did well in all of my classes, communications and general education requirements. Many people who know me from that era of my life may say that they know that I also partied a lot and had more than my share of fun in my college years. That’s definitely true but most of them also know that I always got my work done and used the partying, going out and having a good time as a reward to myself for getting my work done. I didn’t just party and do homework on my road to obtain you. I worked on campus in the public relations off ice and as the Audio/Visual Lab Assistant and Teaching Assistant. I volunteered at the campus radio station all four years of college, two years of that I ran the radio station. I produced the sports highlight videos for the sports banquet both my junior and senior years. I worked on other peoples video and audio projects. I participated yearly in a program that gave inner city Baltimore students a chance to use the cameras, recording studio and just enjoy using technology. I was a member of the Art Society. I filmed, produced and edited all of the video footage and still slide-shows that were used for my classes graduation ceremonies. I did three internships, two that were not required. I was inducted into the AWC, a kind of honor society for communications majors. I graduated on time with you and a sense that I could do anything I wanted.
Believe me, I know it isn’t all your fault. A lot of it is your supporters. They give those who get you a false sense of security. They say that a Bachelor’s degree is your ticket to a happy life and financial security. They say that all you have to do is have that tidbit on your resume and you’re set. And the other thing they say is that if you can’t get a job in your chosen field, you can always teach. They’ve been lying on you, college degree. You are not a ticket to anything and you cannot just teach. I literally do not remember one person saying to me that I should worry about getting a job or going right to grad school.
I have thought about it at length, not having a full-time job will give you lots and lots of time to think at length. Maybe it isn’t you at all. Maybe it’s something about me. Am I exceedingly horrible to be around? I doubt it. I have only been told by one person that I am abrasive and this person told me this because he is a woman hating, chauvinistic pig who has alienated 99% of his friends to the point of them cutting off all contact. Do I come off a certain way in an interview or do they not like how I look? I doubt this too given that I have not even had one interview for these jobs. So then I look to my resume. I recently submitted a resume and full work history to the career services offices of three different colleges where I have taken classes, the College of Notre Dame of Maryland, College of Southern Maryland and University of Maryland University College. They looked at the full work history and then at my functional resume (the appropriate, en vogue resume format of the day). All three said it was perfect and they all said they wouldn’t change, add or subtract a thing. So what then is the problem? It must be you.
What makes me so unmarketable? I have had a lot of experience in a lot of fields. I’ve worked in radio, television, schools, offices, retail, social service, post secondary school administration and who can even remember what else without looking at my resume. Given this, no one can say I’ve only worked in one field and I’m one of those career changers you hear about on the news. I’m not fresh out of school. I’m not retired. I’m not applying for jobs that are out of my range. I am not looking for jobs with insane commutes that would make it more likely that I’m late or need to leave early to get my kids. I’m not insisting on insane salaries. I’m not asserting in my cover letters that I have kids and a husband with a disagreeable schedule and therefore need accommodations made. I’m not even pushing myself on these businesses and institutions with emails and phone calls about the jobs (something all three college career service offices have said not to do and all the application processes clearly state). It’s even been suggested by some of my more off the wall friends and family members that its because I’m white and female. Well look at any unemployment poll, study or whatever and you’ll see that’s pretty ridiculous since more white women have steady employment than all other group. So what is it? I have decided it must be you, college degree.
Don’t mistake this for a regret. I do not wish I hadn’t gone to college to get you. Those four years were some of the best of my life. I made friends that I will never be able to part from, found jewelry-making and had experiences that have shaped my life and personality. In fact, I recently had my ten year college reunion, had a great time, saw people, saw campus and remembered so much. But I saw people I went to school with who are so happy and so successful that I wanted to scream. Why are you working for them? Why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to you? I think I deserve an explanation, an apology and a break. I worked hard for you, return the favor dude. I have used you to try to convince so many of my younger family members, friends and even some of my current junior high students to do well in school so they can go get one of you. But what kind of an example am I? I’m helplessly underemployed, visibly unhappy with my station in life, financially stunting my little family, embarrassingly unsuccessful and utterly without hope for a change. I don’t expect that I would be a major candidate for every position. I am not even expecting that I get some amazing job, I would just like the fact that I worked for you to mean something and maybe give me a chance to get an interview. Maybe then I’ll be able to more clearly figure out if its you or me that’s the problem. Am I overqualified or under qualified? They don’t give you a reason in the highly formal and formatted email that tells me they’ve hired someone else or that they won’t be needing to interview me.
Anyway, I just thought that you deserved to know this stuff. I’m glad you’re working for some people but I know I’m not the only one you’re neglecting. You may want to rethink you’re methods and who you choose to help. Get over yourself and do your job. Stop listening to your blind supporters and become relevant again because you were hard to get and hard to finish. Stop letting people tell you that you are the end all of all and that you make everyone happy and successful. I hope you realize that the vast majority of happy people that I know, have never even made a stride towards you. You’re not all that and you need to be taken down a peg or two in your own mind. My personal theory is that you think so highly of yourself that you feel untouchable and that anyone who has you and isn’t reaping the benefits is doing something wrong. So what are you going to do about this? Whenever you figure it out, please let me know. Give me a reason to keep promoting you to others and please don’t make me start regretting a major part of my life. Make yourself worth something again and make me worth something too. Oh and if you can’t do that and soon, please find a way for me to pay for grad school without becoming an indentured servant or losing my house. I was just informed that there is a chance I will lose my financial aid to a bunch of undergraduate students whom you will undoubtedly help in their future. I’m trying dude. Why can’t you.
Sincerely,
Rachel M. Harris
Originally posted October 2010 at https://www.facebook.com/notes/434732103156/
Comments